Reasons

There are reasons why I have so many people in my life. They are all GOOD for something. Why? You ask am I posting this. It's because last night I discovered another reason why someone special is in my life, no there is never time for US anymore but when I had the biggest meltdown since January of 2006(yes, that date is still vivid). She was there and I didn't have to say anything because even if she doesn't really know whats been going on lately she knows me in a different way and she didn't need me to explain as to why I was having a freak out session. Don't get me wrong my other besties are my total girls but this one specific person (OK, Candie) has a grip on me in a sense and can shake my deals! I have always told others Candie is that girl that says get up off your ass, stop crying, and woman power up! Its true!

Still Wednesday Right?

Uggghhh just having a moment. Don't need anyone to respond, just gonna write what my brain thinks. This is my journal and unfortunately sometimes its public. I will most likely lose you in the process but again its for me to get off my chest!

Gosh darnit my weight is really dragging me down, stupid stupid stupid, its not this hard, really I have done it before WTF? Is it because I'm tired, my husbands shift sucks, I have kids, I'm lazy, chilling with Des over coffee is way better than the gym!
Being fat makes everything so uncomfortable! I don't even care to eat seriously I'm not hungry its just I feel bad if I don't go to lunch with julisa and I feel bad if I don't eat the dinner Russ cooked. I'm angry with food right now so really it needs to go away! I'M ANGRY!!!!!!! It has destroyed my inner me! Yes I'm freakin hilarious, I am a big fat hilarious person. This is my melt down people! If I am not helping myself to food I am not hungry! I would rather drink coffee or a large pop or a smoothie than eat and meal!!!!!
Ugghh the feeling afterwards is so not worth it!

Another vent, This damn weather, come on already WTF WTF WTF WTF???? Rain, snow, 80degrees. I don't get it and the swine flu (look that up in 50 years kids) seriously, SERIOUSLY, we have nothing else to talk about! What that mosquito disease is out of style now! We have a new thing to rave over!!! Stand 6 feet away from someone whom has it??!! No shit Sherlock aren't you typically away from anyone with the flu in general, WOW!

(insert crazy excuse) can you tell its that time of the month?

I don't act mean to anyone or vent to my hubby or break down and cry like I used to (pre happy pills) I am just having a VENT session with my keyboard or journal whichever!

I just want some good old gal pal time! If they rain out Friday night ball I might flip out! I have scheduled "patio time"

Another vent...why does Dalton find it necessary to destroy my down time when getting home from work...honestly I could soooooo do without the whining and clinging and fit throwing...only to find out he has a 100.5 fever tonight WTF? I'm TIRED people, I'm tired! I'm fit to be tied!

(insert crazy excuse) again I know I am relatively happy, but I also desire to fix people, make them happy, turn there life to good glamour! So after so long of laughing and building, I am entitled to a FREAK out session!! Right? Right!!!

There I just inhaled heavily and then let it out and feel somewhat better! Plus this whole anger typing thing I'm doing really helps. Poor keyboard! :( Russ can probably hear clickety clackety clack clack...

Honestly I cant wait to fall asleep, dream, wake up curl my hair, grab coffee and go to work and hope like HELL that Doc is happier tomm. I can't stand it when he is frustrated! We girls all freak out! :)

I JUST WANT NORMALITY!!! What the hell is that anyway?

WDYTW

Obviously this isnt MY scale or I wouldnt be dieting! Meaning mine reads much higher! Its an image off of yahoo. Why is it that the scale in my bathroom is running and ruining my life right now!? It sets the mood for the day, the theme for my life! When did it come to this!?

Dalton Update

At this point this is all we know!

The allergist we saw today is a whack job without a doubt if I wasn't my child's own advocate the appointment would have lasted 10 minutes. I had to basically tell her what to do! Good thing for Google, I can semi speak medical language! Seriously I wonder about some of these MD's

I called my Rheumatologist (Dr. Jaime Neal) immediately, vented and then she looked up the orders today and put my mind at ease that maybe the Dr we saw had some clue to as what she was doing. I also updated the Rheumatologist regarding Dalton's symptoms:

Sleeping from 630pm to 7 or 8am all night through!
Excessive thirst(neg. glucose test)
Horrible constipation and gas
Fever of unknown origin

She kind of settled me down and told me I could call her for the test results if needed! It does show though that they ran for EVERYTHING from pet dander to gluten. So we shall see. If nothing then well....at least we have checked allergy's off the list! Good thing is that we haven't seen the welts since Dec. 29th, 2008 so now its just the fever! Dr. Neal and Dr. Armaddo (mean allergy) did however mention it still seems to be a strong case for JRA, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis! Lets hope not~

A Friendly Delivery!!

Sometimes your loved ones just know when you are in NEED!!!! Yes, most of us have a spouse or significant and we know what its like to be cuddled in bed or taken on a date to feel special but a spontaneous delivery at work is ALWAYS a great feeling!! Chocolate dipped strawberries and Starbucks coffee....Ugh I wanted to lay it on the floor and roll around with them!!! Holding the excitement back because I was in a public place! Didn't want to look to ravenous. I waited to eat until EVERYONE (2 year old and 32 year old) was in bed. I showered, did a load of laundry got my Greys recording from last week ready to watch, hit play and indulged in my strawberries!!! Well lets not talk about how great they were I am keepin it G rated! Love ya Dessy! Thanks for lifting the cloud for awhile.

Yoga @ Daycare!!

Well who looks like he just doesnt care???? Yeah guess Yoga isnt bubba's thing! Too cute though!

#1 Reason I Drink Starbucks~~

I drink Starbucks for various reasons. Mainly for the fact to read the cups. "The Way I See It #141"

I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years and then I realized, you just say "Hi." They may ignore you OR you may marry them. And that possibilty is worth more than that one word.

See a morning life lesson never hurts!!!

Just Me

So, not that bad for a hard day of work, heck I look worse after the gym, which by the way I did not need to attend after my house chores today. I start my garden next weekend. I'm so super excited. Garden Flowers and Garden Food is what I am getting for Mother's Day! Love ya'll

PROOF of my going Green~~~

I'm not saying that I am totally 100% not using my dryer but it's only being used for towels or jeans! The heavy stuff! Ahhh my shirts smell so good and they are like air freshners for my house as well. DOUBLE Bonus!

Sunday Funday!

Look it's my Casa revamped! I moved the furniture and cleaned every area possible, but as I look at the photos I cant help but look at the mound of blankets in the corner. Oh well those will come in handy when Sis and Stacia come in tomorrow night. :)

For real this time, it has been a great Sunday thus far! Probably just jinxed myself but Russ and I haven't called each other names yet. Typically its kill your spouse Sunday!! Today he took the boys and left me alone. In the time I had alone I cleaned and when I say that it means I rearranged furniture entirely, yes, we have a brand new living room!!! Hand dusted the base boards! Vacuumed every crevice in my house! Cleaned off my porch for my smoker friends so that when its rainy outside they are all in check! LOL! I made mac and cheese with hot dogs for lunch! I played outside with the boys! I paid Austin 5 dollars to haul things to the curb for me of which many items have already been picked up! Even though Austin helped, I have a feeling my back is majorly gonna feel my hard work in the morning! :( I am currently doing laundry and line drying my items by the way GO GREEN! Plus it keeps the house much cooler when your laundry is on the main floor. Russ is to play ball tonight but it looks like severe weather is creeping in! So we will see!

D Time!!!!

Holy Mother, D time has been filled up this weekend and I am totally not complaing!!! Love her and we can seriously just stare at the walls not talking and be good company! Thats exactly what we did last night, we opened all the windows in my living room, little the candle, got Sonic drinks and well, CHILLED! Of course we were always using our Blackberry's to talk to our other friends because they are what keep the blood flowing through our viens! What was life like before cell phones? I think I was just as attached to my pager!!! Anyhoot! Des and I have decided to make a ritual on friday nights when Russ is playing ball to get together and hang out, (at least that was a tenative plan anyway) :) Love you Des and I am ALWAYS just a text message away!

SISSY TIME

Much needed sister time occured all weekend for Ashley and I. This picture was taken while driving out to my cousin Sarah's bridal shower in Lee's Summit, MO. DUH, of course we have Starbucks in hand and we look too hott to trot!!! Obviously we should have been watching the road instead because we got so lost and we do not own a TOM TOM his name is Ian and well he isnt quite what we needed! Hey but he helped, and we landed there on time!

PINK!!!

My sister has had a pink stripe in her hair and Jojo insisted on having one as well. Jaimie the stylist said this is by far her youngest color client ever!! In the pic below Jojo is saying specifically which piece of hair maam!

The rinsing of the color! Not to fond of the process at first but easily settled down, once she knew pink hair was totally in the works!

"See, my hair Aunt TT" "I got pink like mommy"
and the vanity begins!

Park Day 4/24/09

Back to the Friday grind! Normality has returned! Ash and I headed for our outing to Target then to meet Kelly, Pete and there kiddos at MY HIDDEN park! Shhhh!!! Its the best there are never any kids! Great shade etc. After two hours of play time there we headed to Pizza Shoppe where Russ then met us for lunch! It was a good weather day, about noon it got a little to warm for me. Remember I like the cloudy, rainy days!!

One of the 20 pics we took, this is the best we got!

Ash and Sissy!! Or a grandma with no teeth, you pick!

Why Am I Still Awake?

Bubba~~~ When you read this 50 years from now you will know your mommy was crazy at a young age and that you made me this way. I used to go to bed at 8pm, I used to take naps all the time. I was never OCD or a panic freak before you. I always check on you at least once while you are sleeping. Point of this blog...there isn't one!
Today was honestly too hot we go from 40-60 then 60-80 degrees in just hours I don't understand it!!! I hate anything above 73 and anything below 55. Today got off work at noon. Tried to hit up the Goodwill, had no success! Des obviously bought everything that was cute! Then headed to get the boys, drove around went to Payless Shoes, Michael's fabric crafty store, then to HyVee (wheres there's a helpful smile in EVERY isle)! Came home grilled steaks and had corn on the cob, YEP its summer baby!!! Then went next door to chillax with my peeps. Poppa (my peep) and I went to Sheridan's and got yummy ice cream!!! Oh I could just kick myself in the ass but HE is having PMS and damnit he wanted ice cream and a movie!! So I delivered! Well he bought the ice cream and the movie wellll....lets just say I didn't deliver shit!

OK night night ya'll

First 15

Womens Magazine mentioned there are a Top 15 milestones in a relationship. Here they are listed and beside each I will try to remember when and maybe where that took place for Russ and I. We have both done soul searching and know without a doubt we are meant to be...so enjoy and we are far from perfect but it might get mushy! for I lucked out with te sensitive, emotional but strong man!

First Talk : September 29, 2003 on IM on Yahoo Personals, best day of my life, no joke. I can still feel the rapid heart beat.
First Kiss : The next day was a Monday and he got off work at 9pm we went out and he kissed me in the truck in my driveway.
Girlfriend? : Not sure we had this talk we both assumed.
First Morning WoW! It all went so fast so again not sure!
I Love You? About maybe a month into it..he came flying into bed and said and I quote " Have you ever felt like you know you are in love with some one so fast?" The next day was "I love you"
First We : ??
First Fight : A fight to always remember would be January 2006
First Trip : Thankgiving of 2006 to Texas to see my now in-laws
First Grocery Shop : dumb...we go everywhere together!
First Control : January 2006 :)
The Future? December 13th and then again March 2006
First Notice : Yahoo Personal Ads 2003
First Doctor Visit : For baby number 1 was early on in our relationship, then bubba in Mar 2006
Caring Together : All the time, we really do care about eachothers wants and needs
Your Commitment; "Forever and Always"

Whoosshhhh

Today went lightning fast!!Julisa and I had lunch on the patio at Jason's Deli, I had a salad, some hummus and some potatoe and got sicker than sick, bad tummy talkin was going on also known as "Tracy Gut". Before you knew it we were done with work, headed to gym after trying really really hard to talk myself out of it....I went! Yeah me! I had a great workout them met Dessy for coffee on the patio at Starbucks(guess this blog title should be called "patio time")..SO SWEEET been way too long since that has occurred. The patio sitting, not the coffee drinking..ya follow? So while drinking coffee the tummy started talkin again....no bueno!! :( Had to head home in a hurry while venting to Julisa on the phone about my A$$! It has never been right! Dear Lord! So after all of that talk...I got to bathe bubby. I love bathing him. He will get too old for mommy to bathe and lather with baby smell good lotion before long and I will be sad!! after bath off to bed, daddy had already fed him and for the love of pete it was already 7pm. The child was exhausted from a fun day at Aunt Ashley's, which by the way we brought his bike over to her house this morning because he wanted to ride it at 630am, so I threw it in the back of the truck and let her deal with it. She called within 5 minutes cursing me for it!!! HA! :) Now, I have done laundry, not eaten dinner, not gonna try to!!! Watched my DVR "The Hills" episode from Monday bashed Spencer (a character on the show) and now I need to shower! It was a great day and tomm. will be better!! It's MY Friday!!! What? What!!!!!

Going Green

Make changes in how you do your laundry. Wash your clothes in cold water. Up to 90 percent of the energy used for washing clothing goes to heating water. Rack up even more savings by air-drying some of your clothing.

Last night I did laundry and hung all of my shirts!!!! Ahhhh the smell so good today. I think the dryer tends to leave a dry smell or hot burn effect!!! I know I am wierd but I will be excited to see my electric bill next month!!!

WDYTW

Husband and Wife One Day???????Dalton Wood and Hannah Mott

God Bless The Fat Women

This going to the gym thing and TRYING to eat healthy is for the birds! But.....I am doing it! Remember a goal was to be down 10lbs by the end of May. Watch the ticker on my blog and I will prove it. I aim for the gym 3-4 nights a week and sweat like a pig. I also have really cut back eating and eating crappy things yet not depriving myself. I still need to get a heavier foot when it comes to eating "time" and I am not hungry!!! My pants feel different and I feel like I cant take a pretty picture right now to save my life!!! Raaaawwwwrrrrr!!! (That was for you Des)

Going to the gym today after work. Then home for maybe just a shake or some fish and brown rice...(wink-wink, hint-hint honey).

Hope everyones day is great! This warmer weather is self healing!!

All Ends Well Again

From this...Turkey burger and onionTo these...
To this...

To these.... Yummy, Russell loved them and he said he wasnt saying that just to be nice :)

To ME (the chef)!!! Look I am smiling!!

I left work around 3:30 this afternoon and headed straight to the gym, put in a 45 minute workout and headed home. I prepared my burritos above using the most low fat items I could find. They consist of fat free refried beans, turkey meat, onion, tortilla, cheese and my special sauce!! While Russ tinkered with the lawn mower Bubba sat on it...that is one boy that HATES coming inside and he lets the neighbors hear and know it!! We ate then headed to the neighbors for a little chatty chit chatty! Now home we are. It's 6:20 and Bubba is in bed ASLEEP! I am telling you that kid went down at 7:15 last night and I had to drag him out of bed at 6:30 this morning!! He would sleep until 8. Regardless the house is semi-clean, picked up anyways, trash taken out, dishwasher started and I am ready for some good ole R and R!!!

Night Night

Power Struggle

Lately I have been struggling with those who do like me and those that do not. Those who want my company and those who don't. I am just having a hard time with meeting people that are not social butterflies, like myself. I understand its OK to have a few good girlfriends but I want 1,000 with no drama. I understand that not everyone is going to think I am the coolest person they have ever met and want to hang out with me all the time. I just see myself as someone who has no animosity, who tends to be non-judging, OK so yes I might be a little crazy or have crazy people tendencies but I hope I am not judged by those! Maybe this is my funk, maybe not! But this is MY blog, MY journal and this is what I would write!
If you know me then you know I of course googled friendship and came up with this explanation!

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
the tendency to desire what is Best for each other,
Sympathy and Empathy,
Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart,
mutual understanding.

I am surprised to admit that nowhere in there did it state you have to be funny, outgoing, absurd, irrational. I mean come on those are my many traits. I do have my few good girlfriends, you know who you are, I would eat a cake in one sitting for all of you.....no big deal! LOL!

Maybe I am crazy, Maybe I dont need everyone to want to be my BFF maybe I should just SETTLE~!

Weekend Update

This picture just says it all!!! Story of my heart right now! I wonder, I wish, I sleep!!
WARNING: I am in a funk! I cant explain it or talk about it, just a funk! I did however do things this weekend, it just wasn't things that I (a) brought my camera to or (b) really had the best time doing it, to write about it here! Again WARNING in funk! I am not dead, or picketing Blogspot...just tired!!!

What Do You Think Wednesday?

OK, so I have to totally defend the boy here! Just hours ago he was outside in the dirt playing on the riding mower. Making truck or motorcycle sounds. He IS all boy, but the boy couldn't resist moms cool pink shoes! I don't blame him they are SWEET! The vacuum is out because I am kind of neurotic in the evenings and my area rug needs to have lines from the vac. (felt better to share that with someone) This is short cause the weather is AWESOME so goodnight ya'll.

Goals For April/May

My friend Des blogged about her goals and says that if she writes them down for others to see she is some what held responsible. So I love the technique and here I go copying. I too am going to post a weight loss tracker for all to see on my blog!

Goals are as follows: In no specific order..

I want to start a vegetable garden, it will be my first one and everything might die but I want to try it out! My house is perfect for one.

I want to weigh 190 by the end of May and I wouldn't be too crushed if I weighed less.

I want to be better at putting my foot down when everyone else is hungry, I am not ALWAYS hungry at the right times.

Drink more water

Actually stick to our planned family vacation of the Omaha Zoo on May 22nd, I am the best at changing plans! Its what I do!

More time with the ball fields would be nice!

I schedule a lot of girl time now, but could always use more :)

Play outside!! Enjoy the weather because come June we will all be whining about the heat!

Live it too the fullest, laugh to the max and love to eternity!

All Ends Well

This morning was kind of blah until I got to work, took happy pills and laughed hard! The day flew quickly as there wasn't much to do. I went to the gym at 1130 and def. kicked my own butt. 370 calories in 30 minutes...what what?? It felt amazing to sweat all over! Then I headed back to work to see one more patient and we were done for the day at 2ish. I headed home to find my neighbors outside and got to meet her new roommate...who by the way totally rocks!! We will introduce him on here later! Don't wanna freak the guy out! LOL! Then Russ and I headed to pick up bubby after some much needed alone time. Then grabbed dinner (one beef soft taco for mwah) and headed home only to enjoy my visit with Des and by the way Bubba loves his Aunt Dessy! (Yes, next time we will invite you Ashley) BTW she looks phenomenal she went from a size 20 to and 8 in two years. She is beautiful inside and out!! After she left I threw in laundry and headed to the car wash to vacuum out the truck that is until I was getting hit on by some TRUE THUGS!! I freaked and left the scene. Thinking I was gonna be the gang initiation...they called me a cutie with a booty!!! PANIC set in!!!!!!! Needless to say I do admit I have a attractive booty and they weren't afraid of telling me that, so point is my truck is still dirty! Raaawwrr! Came home, talked to Julisa about her new bobbers (boobs) "Mary" and "Jane" LOL! Then showered and well now blogging to my fans!!! HA! I'm hilarious I know! Well time to shut the ole eyeballs and breathe fresh in the AM. Loves to ya!

Valerie, Valerie, Valerie!!!

This girl should start a business! She makes the coolest craft projects ever! From play houses out of boxes to this Easter basket for her son Brax! I mean seriously she tops all mothers out there! Reply if you think a business is a great idea! Plus her being neurotic helps a ton!!!

VENT SESSION

Mrs. Pissy Pants
So Bubba has run a fever for the past 3 days. I AM NOT MAKING IT UP! I'm tired and here to vent. I know in my gut that there is something we are missing. I just wish I could find a doctor that would keep him all day and run EVERY blood test and EVERY x-ray until I have an answer. He has bowel problems, he gets welts, he runs fevers for days with no other symptom, he sleeps more than RIP VAN WINKLE.....Come on already!!! The thing that makes you even more mad as a parent is when you go in and they check his white count and thats it, nothing wrong they say, "he seems happy"....well no shit, he is ALWAYS happy!! They arent listening, they arent listening.......and to be honest I am sooooo tired of talking!!! I tell myself everytime I leave the drs office that next time I am not going until I see he is critical, and then I just keep going back, Well I am tired! Tied of what if, tired of the answer "nothing" , ttired of co-pays just tired. Hopefully whatever he has he grows out and hopefully it doesnt kill him first!!! Im so frustrated! If you know me you know that MY gut instinct is ALWAYS right!!! Always!!!

Coolest Easter Gift Thus Far

You really can't imagine the expression on his face when he got an egg with a 20.00 bill in it. It was of course from me and Daddy. Cause we LOVE him!!! His new thing now is Money and Coins and boy you just cant get enought. Funny thing the other day he told us that WHEN not if but WHEN he becomes President he is going to make a 40 dollar bill so that people dont have to have (now bare with me, he just rambled this off as I have to think about it) 40 ones or 8 fives or 4 tens...just one 40.00 bill. Genious I tell ya!!!Love you man!!! Happy Keaster!!!!

EASTER Day 2

Underwood Easter 2009Me and My world!!
Me and Mom "Martha Stewart"

Me and Siisy, I just eat her up!!!

WOWZERS!!! Thats my Emmy Dawn...."Bam! I went there"

A really awesome picture of me and the stud muffin!!!

Here comes the bride......

She really opened every single egg as she hunted!!

BROTHERS

Me and Siisy again!!

Bubby loves Sissy

Aunt "Tista" Krista brought Bubby a special Easter basket, this is his main squeeze!

Inside after the hunt opening all the goodies

EASTER Day Number 1

Atcheson Easter 2009This is the new beautiful home of my cousin Ronnie and his wife Jessica. I swear its like a bed and breakfast every room had a theme and was emaculate. They put on a great easter lunch, and egg hunt for the little ones! They live in Holden, MO. It took us about an hour to drive out there. Well worth the trip for the good company.
My little man....Farmer Bubba!

Yes, we forgot his basket, so a walmart bag came to the rescue!!

My Aunt Laurie and cousin Lexie

Aunt Laurie and Bubba, she just ate him up and I doubt he minds the attention!!

My Austin so grown up, I love the yellow shirt. Someone who knows taste must have picked that shirt out...wink wink!

Daddy and Bubba blowing bubbles. He was so cute with them.

Only 1/8th of the Atcheson Family!

Do you think he had any fun????

Do you think HE had any fun?????? Yes, thats Bubba asleep in the car minus the benedryl!