One of my most favorite songs

Have you ever wondered what life would be likeIf you'd only went left instead of taking that right
If you had waited just ten more minutes to leave the house
Would it all be different
Every decision everything we choose has a consequence whether we win or lose
Nobody knows that any better than meI left her standing at the station with a ticket and a dream
She's the train that I didn't take
The big commitment I just couldn't makeFor fear of breaking my heart, I didn't risk the ride
She's the lesson I learned the hard way
Now being lonely is the price I pay
The river of regret runs deep and wide
Here on the safe side
I still remember the night she left
She said she didn't want to lose me, but she had to find herself
I could've stopped her or got on board with her
But now it's too late to reconsider
She's the train that I didn't take
The big commitment I just couldn't make
For fear of breaking my heart, I didn't risk the ride
She's the lesson I learned the hard way
Now being lonely is the price I pay
The river of regret runs deep and wide
Here on the safe side
Sometimes the greatest risk of all
Is never taking one at all
She's the train that I didn't take
The big commitment I just couldn't make
For fear of breaking my heart, I didn't risk the ride
She's the lesson I learned the hard way
Now being lonely is the price I pay
The river of regret runs deep and wide
Here on the safe side
Oh I don't want to be alone
Here on the safe side

My Wish List 2009

1. There is a black and white check pea coat at walmart for 60.00 I love it...its something I would never spend on myself...

2. George Forman Grill~~~~ to cook our chicken that we eat every night on so my honey doesnt have to freeze.

3. Happiness/Love/Health all year long

4. I wish to be down 50 more lbs by March 09

5. A cool pair of boots to wear to work.

Thats it honestly, I dont want a lot. I am loved everyday by Russ and my boys. I have a roof over my head and a great job which is second family.

I always portray this happy go lucky personality but dont for a minute think that I am never sad, angry or upset at something. I would just rather GLOW.....

not sure where that blog was going so I will just quit....

Xmas Tree Time

He wonders...and wonders..."whats daddy doing?" Well Daddy is bringing in the decorations for our tree, as well as the tree. Yes, it is snowing. Couldnt have been more perfect. He was soooo excited..can you tell?

Big Brother Austin helping me hook the new decorations.

Before.....

After...i just like a simple tree I went red and silver this year...

I love the holidays now, I have to be honest I was quite the scrooge before Dalton came along, now I catch my self tuning into 102.1 for christmas songs..Happy Holidays

Weekend Randoms...

So after we got in town from Sisters house oh around 11am or so.......we hung out a little, Bubby took a nap and I showered while the boys went to get something to eat and my sweet hubby brought me back Starbucks. God I love him! We are perfect, remember everyone has a different definition to perfect. After bubby napped and I drank bucks I bathed bubby then headed to drop him off for a much needed visit with Aunt Ashley and the fam. Bubba had been with mommy for 3 straight days all my time....oh dear lord WE needed to be separated. We got to spend time with the Bards playing our new addiction Bowling on the Wii. So much fun that my right shoulder is killing me, so I played lefty. Julisa had spare time on her hands so hung out with us as well. We tried to get the Dearings but they had already settled in for the night. By the time we headed back to get Dalton I had already started to miss him....how does college work again?????! LOL! I woke him from his slumber and he was a ball of laughter all kissy and huggy and doing knuckles with Uncle Ian...he cracks me up. We definitely have a great bond but I am so over the two year old tantrum stuff......then comes the three year old terrors right? Oh joy joy! So we are home for the night...Tomm. is a big day, we are putting up our tree...Yeah!
By the way for all of you wondering about pictures from my first Turkey day, yeah......well I don't have one stinking picture. It makes me very sad honestly. I wanted a pic of me and my mom and all the people. It was a great time.
Bubba update as well, they found nothing in his results except for the he has a high platelet count, which means there is inflammation SOMEWHERE, but the tests don't give us any clue to as where.....
I give!
Well goodnight and I will be taking pictures of my tree tomm. stay tuned!
Goodnight

My brother Daryl and my other brother Daryl

These are my brothers....Brother in laws that is...Ryan and Randal. There is no more to say.....Total trouble! I believe the one on the left has a record of some sort with the law.....But I am thinking with the beard he might be AMISH! Gotta love Sister!!!

She is a mystery

"She" is Stacia....she is my 11 year old niece. She is tomboy and beauty queen all in one. She is a stomp you in the dirt kind of girl...I just saw her for the 1st time in a year. She has grown, they arent suppossed to do that. Not that fast anyway! She is beautiful and genuine. Yet a DIVA! Definetly made to be on camera or TV.

Twins

These ladies have a book of their own, that I am not about to publish. This is MawMaw and Mom....the Texan Queens. So they think!!!!! LOL! They are soul mates, with heart and attitude. Mom is my mother in law and yes I call her mom....I am sitting here with Sister and wow the things we want to say.....but its only right to RESPECT your elders! In case you actually read my blog...MOM, we DO love you.

4th Generation Ladies

Sister was in Texas this past week for the holiday and just happen to take a picture of Nualani and noticed PawPaw in the reflection of the mirror and then took one of each of his great-grandaughters. From left to right Randi, Haylee, Stacia and Nualani

Lost Time

Thanks to my sister in law who goes by "Sister", I am at her house in Cottonwood Falls, KS and being nosey on the computer I find pictures of times lost, moments forgotten. This a blog of bubba from the very early days. Girls this is for you all at work. Now you have seen what being big and pregnant really looks like.

Its the night before

Ahhhhh! Its almost here my first big party that I am the host of...HOLY CRAP OLA!
My house well its.......................................................SPOTLESS~~~~Yes, I am a great cleaner,pickerupper when need be and to be honest my hubby was QUITE the helper....Our clothes are sorted to put in the wash in the morning, our dishes are clean, our toilets are scrubbed, shower curtain in guest bath...has a rod and is hung! Yeah we are FINALLY settling in our house in other words...I mopped all the floors and set my table...its not too martha stewarty but it has some touch...I will take pics...Its my first TURKEY DAY PARTY YA KNOW!!?!?
OMG> how do I fall asleep, one thousand things going on in my head...GRRR!
Until tomm.

The List

So Santa, I am a little confused at why I made the naughty list this year???? What does that mean for me? I cant imagine not getting everything I wanted on my list including the Dora kitchen, dora doll, Dora stroller, Dora car........What are the perks for being on the naughty list maybe we can make a deal???

NO WAY!!!!

So its that time of year again, I hate shopping with a passion but this makes me VERY interested. heard about the site on the radio this morning. Unbelivable sales.....Thank you lord, I have Xanax..

http://www.blackfriday.info/sales/

Update

WORN OUT

That's me, I am tired and still going, kind of like the energizer bunny. We went to the Dr's today to run a enormous amount of tests on bubba to get to the bottom of all of his mystery! They drew 5 viles of blood and took 4 xrays of chest and head for signs of anything. Xrays looked fine and the blood results wont be back until next week due to the stinking holidays. Lets just say he was ready to leave about 30 into the process which took 2 hours and I WAS ALL ALONE, no daddy, he had to work. Its the busy season.....so we wait I guess. The Dr. does agree its something auto-immune but not Lymes like another doc had told me....Relieved but yet then no answers....just thought I would update everyone. It was also so great seeing everyone yesterday and I am positive Lily he DOES exist!

Take care everyone

Sorry.......I had to

Ironically I found this song with my two favorite things!!! I know I have issues but Ryan Gossling and Denny Duket are always with me.........


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3am2em-PxaY


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNZV2C5bpmA

My new love!!! Watch them all you will love him too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrBCcyRL1yg


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5ZVjvtZIjI


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgynCTcH-M4

If you are just browsing blogs....like bloggers do..

Then please input your advice here.....This is my 2 year old son. These are his "rashes, welts, hives" that he gets after a random high fever with no other symptoms. He has had the 5 basic allergy tests and nothing has been determined. He has a "flare up" about every 4-6 months...The doctors think possibly Lymes Disease. All three of these pictures are of different episodes. I JUST WANT AN ANSWER!

Well Hello World.....

Not that I am out in it or anything(the world that is)....its been a bit since last post and to be honest its because I am worn out!! For those who know the situation; my child is a mystery to me and doctors, he doesn't get typical illness's like many other toddlers. He is always having us guess what its coming from and where its going. My week briefly with Bubby....
Last Sat...he woke with a 103.7 then all was well from Sun to Tues until night time and he had a large red welt...then wed morning it was all scabbed over...still no fever but with his history of unknown fevers and rashes off to the doctor we went Wed. Then BAMN all of a sudden Thursday he decides running a 103 temp. while we are working is awesome...then Friday same thing but this time 103.4 in the AM hours, never a great sign. So I am chasing Tylenol and Motrin and WE are miserable,ask my sissy who witnessed us all day. Meanwhile I am being referred to Children's Mercy Infectious Disease. Then Dalton naps from 130-430 and wakes up NORMAL....What? Are you kidding me? Nothing! Nada! Yes irritable and very grumpy and clingy but NO FEVER. Never at any time are there other symptoms not even as much as a snotty nose or little cough...DISTURBING I tell ya! It doesn't help matters that being OCD I didn't get any part of my house cleaned Friday and because of bubbas clinging to mommy nothing got done today either...I might lose it very soon. Thank goodness Starbucks is there for me otherwise LIFE and I might not be friends...
I did have a great moment of peace today though..it was about 1130 and bubba laid down for a well overdue nap after seeing Gama and Gampa...then I lazed around in my bed by myself with coffee and watched I love Lucy! OOOPPPS then I fell asleep, slightly and took a much needed nap. Since I don't sleep at night with medication....I cant wait until Russ works better hours so we can be normal...whatever that is?! So tomm is our annual Atcheson Turkey Day and it will be total chaos, but fun...Until then...Goodnight

How much worse could it get....

Seriously just when you think you look good and your having fun with your girlfriends...a picture like this comes back to haunt your butt....I mean REALLY could it get any worse, can the face be anymore round, does that hat look like a helmet??? My headband is totally on backwards....seriously COME ON....how come my friends didnt just say...WOW! we arent walking with you. Instead nooooooo they took pics....they knew what they were doing....GRRR!

ALWAYS

Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in this life.

Jean Paul Richter

I always make a point to say "I love you" or "love you goodnight"...even if we are ALMOST asleep and I forgot so I say "honey, he mumbles yes, I say love you, he says love you too baby! and all is well in the world

"If tommorrow never come"

Its a MYSTERY I tell ya!!!

So this is on bubba inner thigh tonight. After him having a fever of 103.7 on Saturday then nothing and then all of a sudden EXTREME fussiness tonight, no appetite. I change him into jammies to find this. The picture isn't that great his leg is more swollen looking and the rash much deeper red...I don't get it.....

Held close to heart!

This blog comes about because today I realized I have actually known someone for 22 years of my life and still have contact with them. I had a crush on him in elementary, hung out a ton in middle school and was mean to every girlfriend he had in high school except for my best friend that he dated for awhile. It was young love for sure! It's his birthday today and I am pretty sure we haven't missed a text or phone call or email regarding each others birthday. Somehow even through phone number changes I find him...Its kind of our hello once a year, yet I know he is there. He is genuine and sincere, OK OK!!! His name is Ben Mantooth. I remember nothing but passing notes in the hall, to hanging out with Zoe and Ray at the house. I always thought of him as my best bud. We even danced at my girlfriends house to "strong enough" by Cheryl Crow, Crazy the things you remember. People come and go in our lives. Its weird the ones that leave footprints and those that don't. I can honestly say I saw Ben in person about a year ago and he was as tall as ever and still GENUINE. A lucky lady will get him someday...maybe? Maybe he wont settle, he is quite the "guys-guy" right now!!! Thanks for just being you all the time!

The Ultimate Day

Its amazing what you can do one handed once you have children. I can pour milk in the morning, and screw the lid on the sippy cup, open doors with my hip, put chicken in baggies after dinner, etc...ALL while holding Dalton on my right hip....I swear the older he gets the more I seem to be holding him....why? Maybe he is becoming a mommas boy..??!!(Wishful thinking) Tonight I am extra extra tired after my first real session of "Boot Camp" with Keri. As if yesterdays Jingle Bell 5K wasn't enough....She really put the whoopin on me. You think you are doing great going to the gym, sweating, working out only to find out U HAD NO CLUE!!! When you are tired and that 2nd set of 15 has you beat red and pouring sweat and you can honestly feel the burning in the bone....NOPE you got another set to go. I think of silent torture to my trainer...LOL! Nope she pretty much Rocks! After the work out Russ grilled chicken, we steamed veggies and had cottage cheese..Delish!!! Its only the beginning I tell ya and its going to be damn hard work....
On another note I got the house cleaned today and got to spend time with the hubby. It was a great day...I tend to be having those more often.

Jingle Bell Walk.....

Me and Candie Cane

A picture of the whole crew(thank you Candie for the pics)

My lady friends and I decided we were going to run/walk the 1oK for the arthritis foundation....HA! You have to actually RUN the 10K...WE DO NOT RUN....YET! Maybe next year, but for today we had a blast walking the 5K. Friends involved were Candie, Julisa, Betsy and Beth. I personally think it was a great challenge for all of us and we loved it. I didn't bring my camera with so I am waiting on pics. from others. This one below was actually posted on the Internet by a photographer.

Best costume contest winners....we scared the reindeer off....more pics to come very soon....

Hard Mommy Time(sad face)

This weekend has been fun so far EXCEPT for the fact that at 7:40am this morning Bubby was still sleeping and that my friend he only does when he is sick....the nice part about my 2 year old is that when he is sick he sleeps and sleeps and sleeps....so I woke him up at 7:45 and HOT HOT HOT I took his temp and it was 102.5...Here comes the Motrin...then a bath and jammie's cause I knew we would be camping in today....WHATEVER!!! The kid ran crazy, laughing, jumping off the bed, tackling daddy and brother, laughing eating you name it the kid was FINE! UNTIL.....the Motrin wore off then 103.7 Holy crap, now lethargic and laying on the couch, my kid does not LAY! Motrin kicked in and AWAY HE WENT.....ate dinner that he wasn't fond off (I swear he is becoming a picky eater by the day darn it) and off to an early bed with his 10 yawns in a row...me,"mommy" was telling everyone goodnight because I AM RUN/WALKING A 10K tomm at 9am and WELL I wanted much needed rest because I cleaned house, watched two boys run like wild boars and did 5 loads of laundry....getting all snugly in my bed and Bubby cries out....HOLY LORD! I get him up 103.5 Crap...two hours until Motrin again, Its gonna be a long night I tell ya. Glad I have a hubby at this point that is willing to step up and take over tomm. while I do my thing at the 10K UNLESS....there is vomiting involved, yeeeeeaaaah, Russ well he doesn't do that sorta thing......so PRAY NOW PEOPLE!!!! I need a well child in the AM.
Goodnight

One Friend

What a best friend sent me this morning by email. It could'nt have come at a better time.....I cried like a baby...well because thats how I roll.

One Friend by Dan Seal
I always thought you were the best
I guess I always will
I always felt that we were blessed
And I feel that way still
Sometimes we took the hard road
But we always saw it through
If I had only one friend leftI'd want it to be you

Sometimes the world was on our side
Sometimes it wasn't fair
Sometimes it gave a helping hand
Sometimes we didn't care
'Cause when we were togetherIt made the dream come true
If I had only one friend leftI'd want it to be you

Someone who understands me
And knows me inside out
Helps keep me together
And believes without a doubt
That I could move a mountain
With someone to tell it to
If I had only one friend leftI'd want it to be you

Little Thoughts...Big Feelings

So you all know Russ and well he is quite the man in many ways...I do take care of him as he does me. He is my Best Friend. He isn't consistent with affection it always comes at unexpected times. He does not open my car door all the time because its a treat when he does..(I am smiling just thinking of it) He will have dinner cooked some nights and laundry done and child bathed and then the next day absolutely nothing. He was and is the unexpected thing in my life. Number 629 to be exact on Yahoo personals 5 years ago...

This little post came about because I get a simple text this morning that reads....."Lunch time,Love you"

Now Remember 9:30 is lunch for he goes in at 2:30am.
I just melted....it was just that simple and just enough...

Forever and Always Sugar Sugar!

Dinner Tonight

After a hard booty workout and getting the boys from school and daycare we headed home as a family!!! Dalton screaming in the backseat the entire time(no joke) Austin laughing, Dad yelling at bubba and I'm smiling and saying to myself...yelling wont make him quit anytime soon...but see I TAKE XANAX.....All he wanted was his mommy again (no joke) So when we got home he sat on my lap eating a graham cracker and being the great boy he is....then Austin gets picked up and I make dinner which is chicken fingers and a great side of rice....As we eat dinner at the table AS A FAMILY.....we are doing all sorts of words with bubba and he can pretty much such any darn word you give him but DOG...he says COG or COKE something along that...so Russ says " say DDDDDOG" and Dalton simply leans his torso over the table and stick his chin out and says " Nooo, COG" we cracked up....it only got funnier from there....

Just a feeling

For all of you who know me, I mean really know me...know that I wear a HUGE heart on my sleeve and will cry at the drop of a hat..well I think I have failed in someway as a person or friend and I am not sure how to make it right. I am just who I am and I havent changed. I think I must have a lot to learn or may know too much already. I know this life is too short to be stressing on the "what if's" so I think I will just live it one day at a time..not sure tomm. will come so I will be doing my best as a daughter,sister,mommy, wife and most of all as a FRIEND...

A poem I found...

Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint

Is who you are and who you ain't.

Friendship is life's great support

When friends are of the right sort.

For all your dreams do they make room,

Or bring you down with doom and gloom?

You will know a friendship is true

When it brings out the best in you.

I felt I had done all the above, yet I still dont feel good enough and THAT I AM DEALING WITH.

Warmth

Even though its freezing outside. I feel so warm in my heart! I have great friends and good company all the time. I had a great time with my sissy Friday afternoon and good times Friday night with the bards and a good time with Candie on Sunday as well as good times with the bards Sunday night. I always have great times with my husband and sons that I don't need to mention, you all know I love them. Its the times when you think you are all alone and a friend comes to mind. Even Julisa and Val that I don't see much outside of work are good friends, #1 reason I love my job. Just thought I would share its 32degrees outside I feel a good 75degrees inside!

I Miss Texas

I miss my Texas family. I was a lucky one in this case to inherit such great in laws. It makes me sad to think that I maybe see them once a year! Its not enough at all. Russ and I both want to be back in Texas so badly and its not possible right now having Austin here and still at a young age. We do however have a four year goal now to back there. Fortunately for us Russ's work transfers there. I am a country girl at heart. No I never got the horses to ride and the dirt bikes like Russ and Sis but that's why I say at heart! I WANT A HORSE! I honestly just want the stars without the city lights and traffic noises! A yard you don't mow cause the cows are eating the grass...I think that's how it goes....anyway. :) LOL! One day Russ, One day!!! You will be home again!

As soon as I saw them I had to blog......

When I say I have EIGHT nieces this is who I am speaking of. These are my Texans. Left to right is Nualani, Randi, and Haley. They are my husbands brothers kids...and for a long time it was the three girls you see here and then Stacia which is Russ's sisters girl...follow!? We were the only ones to have boys UNTIL.....

Here are the girls and

Oh who is in the picture now???? Baby Tanner Ace Wilson

Too cute isnt he??? I just want to squeeze and hold him.

Crazy Mommy

My Saturday from 1pm on........

1-4 watched my nieces...sleep! Did some laundry of Ash's as a favor while Ash and Ian got to go watch the KU game.
Then I stopped and got my husband and I sodas from the gas station and a POWERBALL, cause you cant win if you don't play right??? Almost home and I spill about 70 percent of my soda all over my car...ANGRY at this point....head inside to start rotating laundry, cook dinner which consisted of skillet potatoes, corn, cottage cheese and grilled ham, feed bubba, make Russ's plate, make him eat at the table with us because he has watched college football ALL DAY long....then I do dishes/clean up which means unloading the dishwasher just to reload it again, then fill the sink for bubbas bath, WAIT.... meanwhile rotating laundry again cause its in my kitchen.....Now ask yourself again why I have anxiety....I bitch sure........but nobody could do it better so I don't expect help...AT ALL!
Now I have actually lit a candle in my bedroom, made some coffee and have Itunes on my computer while I hear clanking in the dryer(which by the way DRIVES ME TO the point of CRAZY) trying to relax...deep breath. Husband is watching football(sleeping on couch) and that's OK cause I am paying bills and being ALONE! Which I really love sometimes.

Sister Adventure....

We start it off right for sure by hitting up the DRIVE THRU Starbucks....see our drinks waiting patiently for us and I just have to note do you seriously see the tip jar outside on the ledge...they expect tips on their 5.00 drinks. Ridiculous who would tip them????

Ummmmm...me I do. I love baristas. Here is Jojo as we drive away she got no coffee and we told her all the pastry's were gone....Deprived and Abused I tell ya! Major SRS case here....Just kidding

So this was hilarious.......if you were there......

I was asked to go to the store with Ashley and the two girls obviously to help her out and when we parked I said I would grab a cart and go figure the only one in the cart bay was this....

WE were almost crying....it was like driving a suburban after a geo...

Notice the drinks in the cart...that's our medication.....WE SURVIVE ON THIS! All N All the sister trip was as hilarious as they usually are..

The Darn Bike.......SIGH!!!

So its too cold outside now and Bubba is obsessed with riding his darn bike....so Daddy thought to bring it in the house...Do I care? Heck no???Bring in the mud and worms too....just no snakes bubby. He has not a clue how to pedal so WE push him around and kill ourselves doing it. This morning bright and early we were on the bike and honking the horn right outside daddy's bedroom door then we would ride back to the living room and honk again...(obviously to get daddy up) Well in the midst of riding he almost fell off and I scraped my leg and Bubba got scratches on his back...but back on he got and off we went...BTW the honking worked Daddy was up in no time. Oh yeah forgot to mention he is a STUNT DEVIL

All boy I tell ya!!! Daddy and I are PROUD!