Binky Closure

I sit here on pins and needles waiting for him to start crying again. I hate it when Bubby cries! I have been a thinking mom lately. I know bubba turns 3 in December but we were all, Russ included holding on to that binky like it was part of the family. I know I was being looked at by parents in the Walmart line. I know because I have done it. I see a 3 or 4 year old with a binky and think seriously??? It didn't matter when it came to MY child though I wasn't ready. Like I said before I was the actual sucker here! It no longer soothed him, it was just becoming a nuisance on everyones behalf. Plus I know that he fully functions at daycare including a nap without his binky! So I decided on a whim this morning that I/we were done. You know me the spontaneous, non planning Tracy! We threw them in the trash, we donated them to sissy(not really but I told him that, cause she is a baby) We went to Walmart and he bought three little cars (cause he is a big boy now) and only one he actually took to his bed. I laid him down and walked out ad waited outside the bedroom door....peaceful....for a minute then the crying set in. Louder than shit! Sorry! Dalton never cried when I put him down as an infant, he WAS such a good baby, most likely why I stopped there with having children. It took me going in there once and thennnnnn Dad making his statement...he is finally quiet and possibly asleep. Dare I check? Now I am on a mission to search for those binkys that our hiding throughout the house god forbid he finds one! Ok so mission kind of complete! Hopefully tonight and next few days aren't pure hell. Huge breathe in and out! I can do this. I am a strong mommy!!!

Mind you at 845pm he is still awake and he says " mommy, come here" so i go in his room and he says "I have tell you somting" i said "what dalton?" he said "mommy pleeeaaassee get my binky out the trash for me, I da baby" and yes people I died right there on his bedroom floor. OK so I didnt really, but I told him no and left the room to bawl to myself. I am not sad or mad about the binky as much as I am thinking, actually knowing he is growing up and I want him to stay little. like i told my mom tonight, he is my baby boy and ALWAYS will be..infant, 5, 15, 20, 40 and 70years old he is MY BABY BOY!!! Tears :(