Tough Moments for a Middle Child

Boy have I been hesitant about blogging this issue. Friends wanna know why I have changed or how come I have pulled back even more and just sort of hibernate. Well truth is I have a lot on my mind. My emotions are high and that is the main reason I too have not touched this issue.
Here we go...
First off in case you didn't know I am huge Daddy's girl. I remember being a child and my Dad having to travel for work. He has been in the Carpenter's Union for years and had to climb his way to the top, where he sets now. I remember him living in Michigan, New York, Louisiana, The Ozarks, etc all while we were young. I also remember that sometimes he was only able to fly home once or twice a month (which made it very hard for me to enjoy the pleasures of spending the night at my friends houses on the weekends because I missed my Daddy and wanted to go back home.) I remember him crying with my Mom as Sunday rolled around and he had to leave for the airport or for a long drive to wherever. I remember times when he would call to talk with us kids and I was literally angry inside or as a child I suppose I was mad, felt left alone or whatever (I am sure I also sensed the tension it all caused). Those years were to say the least my Moms hardest as well. Being home with 3 kids as a single Mom was I am sure not the easiest of times. Well, time passed and Dad was able to be home for a long time in my older teenage years. Of course we kids moved out and then moved back again, go figure right! :) About 4 years ago my Dad got relocated to Parson's, KS and my Mom was able to retire from her in-home daycare business after 25 years and sell our house of 20+ years in order to be with him. You think I cried when I was little, this was ten times worse. However they were only 2.5hrs away but for someone who never had gone to college or been away from both parents like that..I took it rather hard. Not to mention the fact I was due in less than a month with my first child, Dalton. However time flew by and we visited frequently for Holidays and Mom and Dad came here often and stayed with Ash and Ian. Before we knew it they were looking to buy a house back in KC. Even though Dad had a year or so left down there they were determined to be back in KC with their kids and most of all grand kids. So a year ago they found themselves moving into a gorgeous home out in Tonganoxie, KS. Which was more like a 30min drive for us Yippee! Dalton and my Dad have this great bond and I have loved them be that close strictly for that reason. Great! This is where my tears rush in! My mom has the candy jar in her favor and the goody bags that she brings the grandchildren but Pampa has a tractor that he lets Bubba drive, not kidding. I am not sure how he hasn't rolled it yet! (sad news enters here) Unfortunately, with the career my Dad is in you have to go where the work is and this lead him to a town called Johnson City, KS SEVEN hours away. If you thought for one minute that my Mom was staying back here only to see my Dad maybe every two weeks all the while him making that drive all by himself, you were crazy! My parents aren't getting any younger and I understand that they want these times in their life to be their fullest together, but it breaks my heart! I have those feelings of emptiness all over again. (here come those darn tears again). We celebrated mine and Ian's birthdays last Saturday night at my parents house in Tongie, which by the way they are still keeping, they plan to come back once or twice a month, but we are to watch over it while they are gone and I am certain their trips back wont be as frequent during the winter. Anyway back to my birthday dinner..I noticed my Dads hands, his joints, his movement. I mean come on the man is practically bionic with all the surgeries he has had LOL. This was different, he looked... older. (really don't think I can make it through this blog post without sobbing) Moving on... My Mom had picked out a birthday card and it was the neatest birthday card I have ever received from them. Typically my Mom will sign Love, Mom and Dad then seal the envelope and hand it to me. I was getting ready to leave and I went to grab my card, open it and read it only to see it said Love Mom there was no and Dad! So I went outside and yelled "Hey Dad, you gonna sign my B Day card?" LOL So he come upstairs into the kitchen, reads it, then signs it Love you always, Dad this card was different because it had a From Mom side to read and then a From Dad side to read so that's why mom didn't write his name for him. A world of emotions came over me, as they are now!!! I read the card, hugged them both all the while in tears..knowing tomorrow they would be SEVEN hours away. I left, went home, and bawled myself to sleep. Time here on earth gets shorter everyday and your parents never seem to stop time on themselves or get any younger. I know this move is only temporary but so is everything else in life. That's where I struggle with this. I love when my Mom and Dad call to talk with Bubba, he just gets all giddy and talks forever about monster trucks and fishing and race cars when they call. So keep calling! Mom, tell Dad to slow don, to not work so hard and to address the bumps and lumps on his hand and elbow!! Also Mom, I will start calling it just has been tough on me for a bit but this too shall pass. I always seem to adapt! Also hang in there I hear Dad is a "tough boss" LOL
Dad, start selling hot dogs and hamburger with a grill on that 12x12 deck you built onto your work trailer so that maybe you can retire a few years earlier than expected. I need you both back home soon!!!
Love you both.
PS: Bubba says: he still wants a remote control race car Pampa!