UnAcCePtAbLe

Wheels are spinning inside my oh so little brain, that connects to my oh so humungo heart :)
I have so much I want to post but I know that this is after all a blog that my son will inherit and read, like to his wife and kids and grandkids....(gasp) sure he will!
Therefore I have to stay somewhat sane, calm and cool...right?!
I am not one to get really angry, I mean ANGRY, yes I get "fed up" or "exhausted" "short fused" "annoyed" and my feelings for sure get hurt on a dime but I am never really angry. I am typically really happy.

With that being said I am A LOT ANGRY, A LOT DISTURBED and I need to share...
.....before I start I will shorten this so greatly that unless you were in my shoes yesterday you have no idea the image that is burned, literally burned into my memory.

(heavyheart/sickness)Yesterday, I met a 32 year old woman that was so badly beaten by her husband that her head was shaved entirely bald so that the Drs could access where he had bashed her skull in with his fist alone, I stared at her bruised skin and his actual fingerprints still around her neck, she then removed her large sunglasses and I almost fell into her lap. Her eyes...her eyes are what I see the most when I close mine. Purples and reds in color, a raw, shiny look to the skin. Her left eye so bashed in that all the bone around it was crushed to pieces. She was shaking as she sat in the dental chair at my office because her teeth hurt on the left side as well. Ok.....enough you get the point!

Dear Mr

What gave you

Ok, I have typed and erased numerous times trying to figure out how to release my anger, preach to my son and anyone else listening but also try and let go.

ADHD behavior starting...NOW: I always wanted to work either in a hospital, a nurse would be my dream job, then maybe I thought hospice, or an anorexia/bulimia department, I even had fun on the stroke floor with my Uncle David. I have been told my laughter is contagious and after all laughter heals the heart and soul right? So, why didn't I follow my passion? A. school, I suck at it and B. My heart, my heart is huge..sometimes too huge and I would become attached, want to save them, heal them and most of the time you cant change someone, whether its diagnosis or choice, I hope your following cause I am lost in my words my damn self. Needless to say there would be way more restless nights for me then I have ever had in the past.

pause...pause...pause...pause

So I am gonna change it up. I am gonna pull the whole "I am a Mom" card and simply preach to my son.

Dalton, Mommy is gonna tell you some things you shouldn't will never do to a woman. I hope to God that you listen and listen good. I hope you know that I am so serious right now mister moo.

#1 YOU WILL NEVER LAY YOUR HANDS ON A WOMAN IN A FORCEFUL SENSE....ever!!!

#2 All women are pretty or as you say beautiful, some more than others(darn it) but all pretty. Please try through all of the peer pressure you will obtain from high school to please be the "jock" that dates the "nerd." Trust me she will be sweeter than anyone else. Or even the "larger girl" with a "contagious laugh" I promise you she may be thicker in the booty and thighs but she is thicker in the heart and mind to.

Dalton Lee you will fail, your heart will break too. Everyones does! You will also get mad and you will be angry and a lot of things may cross your mind...because you son are male and have a lot of testosterone, but remember what I have told you and will tell you many more times..You DO NOT verbally or physically abuse a girl/woman. So help you God!

I love you little man. Daddy and I have really high hopes for you in life. Chin up, Use your gorgeous smile and be nice to everyone.

Love Mommy