Yep, we all lie to ourselves! I am prime example of the best "lying to self" person of all. Whether you are old/young, fat/skinny, you are your worst critic. Ever since I have been on this bumpy, hilly ride of getting to "healthy" I have struggled. Struggled, you ask? Yes, at the gym, in my clothes, without my clothes, in my own skin and without a doubt I have struggled looking back at myself in the mirror. Are our eyes burned into this vision of what our top weight once was or how ugly we felt in the 7th grade going through puberty? At what point do you start to accept who you are on the "inside" and know that is OK? I was 40lbs down and ever since coming off of some meds and getting hormone craziness I have gained 8, yes 8 disgusting, shaming pounds back. I weigh 198 at this moment. My husband and I recently jumped back on the gym train (thank goodness right?) but to be honest something has triggered in my right leg and knee that wasn't there a year ago. A set back? I sure hope not. Maybe I am just not supposed to be running on the treadmill at 198lbs or climbing stairs and biking...maybe I should check into lipo, then again who has that money? My friends can say WOW all they want to my changes and I am aware that I have come a very long way. Candie refreshed my memory with an old picture from only about a year and a half ago. So yes I am aware that I have lost weight and I do feel better..but I am simply not satisfied with ME! So when you look in the mirror, what or who do you see and are you okay with that person looking back at you?
To be continued....
Girl you can only do what you can do. You have had a rough time lately with all the health stuff so just hang in there. The great thing is you are still trying to do the right thing. That counts for a lot. Nonetheless you are one beautiful gal :)
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