I am sitting here writing to you because I never had the chance to say my goodbye, farewell or F*** Off!
Whats stirring this action you wonder? Its because every time I see someone get burned, walked on, cheated on, lied too it brings up this emotion, this anger, this "mean Tracy" and then I try to rescue and get sick my damn self, but I cant help stop it!! Im a fixer too. You abused, you lied, you destroyed me and it took a long time for the heart to rebuild if it even did completely and the healing process is much deeper.
I don't trust people as far as I can throw them and I cant throw! Does that tell you something?
I see friends go through it and to be honest I went threw it once more after you but never in the same degree. I can hear my finger tips loudly as they hit the keyboard because I am so beyond angry! Angry that there are men out there everywhere like you, men that think its okay to mentally destroy women and take away there securities. What is wrong with you and what still is? Its a viscous cycle right? People don't change, they accept and move on. I choose to be nothing but happy and my poor husband doesn't stand a chance when my feelings are hurt or when I'm angry with him, because I forever hold onto every word he says! Man did I luck out in the husband and wife world though because we laugh more than we ever argue! Thats a huge plus!
I have never seemed to run into you in 6 years and god forbid I ever did. The words and emotions that would take place would be very unkind! Hopefully there is a witness! I hate you, honestly hate you for what you did to me and what hurts way worse then the physical is the mental destruction because like I said ITS STILL HERE laying deep within me.
A lot of women need to write this letter as do some men but they never do and therefor we all have ulcers! :)
I am yelling at you, screaming and stating......YOU DID THIS! You attempted to completely destroy me and I was able to find and rebuild myself again, thanks to GREAT friends and RUSS. Lucky me! Right?! Some don't get this chance and they sit and suffer OR they continue to engage in relationships that turn out to be a viscous cycle in the end!
So to you and all others like you.....Goodbye, Farewell!!! To that once broken, hurting, mad heart.
and..... I thought this will fix everything, wrong. I'm still angry! But I am attempting to let go!!! I just cant stand it when I watch someone repeat my pattern, live my old life, feel my once sad heart!
i have to comment on this, trace. maybe not so much for you, since you're out of that relationship, but for others who are not. yes, there are a lot of men out there like that. BUT one thing that ALL women need to understand is that those men only treat SOME women like that---THE ONES THAT LET THEM. if you don't put up with it (and by not putting up with it, i don't mean dishing out empty threats or being a "bitch" back---i mean LEAVING HIM. period.)
ReplyDeletehave you heard the quote, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent"?? in other words, men can't destroy women who aren't there to destroy. it's simply a matter of putting yourself first, not accepting less than the best, and being secure and confident in yourself, without "him." when a man shows you his true colors once, believe him. you shouldn't be there to see the next time.
and for the record, i'm not talking about not getting your way every single moment of your marriage-i'm not saying that men should "bow down" to us. i'm talking about the BIG things--infidelity, lying, physical/mental abuse.... JUST LEAVE. and YES, it is that easy.
Tracy, you are amazing and I am so glad I met you when I did because I have always considered you happy, giggly, bubbly Tracy!
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