And So Sunday Came And Went

I woke early and headed of course to get coffee...hello its my oxygen! First thing on my mind is church..going back has been a hard thing for me. I was taught and raised Catholic and I have no regrets other than I don't know anything about the religion. My mom has always said I have the "ME" religion. I know talking religion is like talking politics and you just don't do it but I have to share my experience.

In high school I attended YOUNG LIFE! I loved it!!! Why? Because it was a social event that involved our god! It was laughing hard, crying aloud and hugging friends and total strangers. It was warm and always inviting and people cared about your day and life. That I loved, That I am searching for. I have my home family, I have my work family...I need my God family as well..maybe to fill this void I have.

In the past month he has called to me, reached for me, practically yelled at me to listen to him again and I thought OK!!!! Enough already!!! So I had coffee with Amy and she got me all excited because she has a lot to say about her journey but she is also just like me personality wise, she loves that Youth Group feeling as well.

So back to this morning. I told my sister I would try out this 5pm mass she goes to and so I went with much hestitation...but in the back of my mind I could hear Candie saying "you never follow through"
(this might get harsh)
I was in tears in my car when I left. I immediately called Amy and asked WHY WHY WHY do I feel this way? People sat far apart from eachother and there was no ligh in anyones eyes. It made me sad honestly. I give the band props though it was great! I was hoping to leave happy and more light on my feet and I didn't. I felt instead that I was bored and tired and actually heard nothing of the mass as I did when I was little.

I am a people person, I have NEVER met a stranger, everyone is a friend. I want to embrace people and where better to do it than in Gods home. So I am still searching, nothing like "trying" out churches. But I have to find my home where I hear God and he grabs me!!! Like he has in other ways. I am not quiting I am just beginning my journey.

I had to talk to my mom about this tonight and that was difficult. Sometimes I feel like I tend to lead a different lifestyle, I am a procrastinator, a non-traditionalist, a total opposite of my mom and now my sissy.

But just like a hobby, or a class I desire to take, or a event I participate in, it has to have a good purpose, teacher and mainly I crave the social aspect. I at one point wanted to be a psychologist just because I love hearing and learning about people but instead I see one myself!!! LOL!

This is a journey through finding my FAITH and I know I will find a home to share with God, I just need to research! Ya know Test the water!!!!

"The Lord will either calm your storm . . . or allow it to rage while... He calms" you.

Take Care..Loves!!!!